9 May 2012
After catching up on some of the athlete forums I realize there was much concern for my lack of showing at the end of 2011. I really appreciate the people who do not pass judgement on what they do not understand. If you have followed my career, you know that I work hard and with integrity. However, 2011 was a year of many lessons. It has personally taken me this long to figure out for myself exactly what happened.
The 2011 Arnold was my 3rd show in 8 months and my body was not responding as well as it did the first 2 shows. I had to push myself to some extremes to bring the package I did. I placed in the top 6, no regrets. I now realize the mistake I made was I continued to try to get ready for show after show throughout the summer without giving my body a rest. By the time august came around, I was continually getting sick and my body was no longer responding to anything we had done in the past. 3 weeks out had an extreme reaction to a juvederm injection (yeah, for the sake of vanity...im a jackass for this one) that made my bottom lip painfully swell 3x its size and required the steroid cortisone to reduce the inflammation. If you understand the effects of cortisone then you know how this would be detrimental to competition prep. I dieted harder, carb depleted, pushed more cardio and then severely dehydrated to try to pull it together. By the time I got to Vegas, I was experiencing weakness, confusion, chronic diarrhea and an irregular heartbeat but I was determined to follow through on my commitment. I knew I was way off for the O but I didn't want to let anyone down regardless of how humiliating it is to step on stage knowing you look like shit..
When the show was over I was to stay on this program, fly home, turn around and fly another 18 hours to India and do it all over again. There was no way. I hit a mental and physical breaking point. After a long, emotional discussion with my family and Dr we came to the decision that it was not in my best interest to continue what I was doing. This was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make and I knew there would be consequenses but there comes a time when you must put your health first. Thanks to the support of my family and friends I honestly feel like I made the right decision.
My trip was paid for by the promoter. He was also so gracious as to fly my father to India with me, considering our safety concerns. Seriously, who would have missed out on this bc they might not win?? Not this girl! Sheru was very understanding of the situation and I have since paid him back for all expenses incurred on my and my fathers trip.
I have been working hard to reverse all the metabolic damage and adrenal fatigue from 2011 and am looking forward to stepping back on stage in 2012. Much love.
courtneybwest @ 09:37
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6 November 2011
It has been quite an eventful year both in my career and my personal life. I am anxious to finally start blogging now that things have settled down a bit. Ive never been much of a writer but I am determined to tackle and master yet another long term goal :)
It has been difficult to blog in the past for a few reasons. 1) I was horrible with time management when I was competing. 2) I know what I want to read in someones blog I follow (personal opinions, views, thoughts), was not necessarily what I felt comfortable putting "out there" at the time 3) lack of originality.. my life was awful boring during contest prep...LOL
SO..now that I do not feel responsible for my words to anyone but myself..Ie. a supplement company, an agent, etc I think this will be the open door to express myself more freely. In my first year as a "Pro" I tried so hard to be the epitome of what the Fitness industry wants.. only to realize my strive for perfection made me the most unhappy person Ive ever known...UGH! I never wanted to say or do ANYTHING that could ever be used against me.. BORING
My Dad recently took a nasty fall and suffered a traumatic brain injury..throughout the last 6 weeks Ive stayed at the hospital with him, Ive realized a lot. My Dad and I are so much alike its comical. My Dad has sooooo many people that absolutely adore him.. but what Ive realized is its not his good looks, charming whit or awesome acheivments that draws people to him, but its his HUGE heart, his love for people, and his honesty.
Its time for me to get back to my roots. Ive accomplished a lot in the last year or so, made plenty of mistakes, and maybe even lost sight of the big picture..ok a few times..but Im excited to have gotten all of these things out of the way so that I can get back to being me and doing what I love the most. Being 'healthy" is an everyday battle for me and I hope that by being REAL I can inspire others to keep striving for your goals..no matter how big.
courtneybwest @ 06:46
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